I'll tell you every secret.

I stood in the shower until the water ran cold;
It stole my breath but I felt alright.

I've never been so jealous;
But that washed right off, down into the drain.
-----------------------------------
I'd rather waste my life pretending;
Than to forget you for one whole minute.

Saturday, April twenty-sixth, 2008.

It doesn't hurt much to miss you, anymore;
Instead I wonder if you're missing me, too.
-------------------------------
I'm stuck here, waiting for you to draw, and then discard.
But I didn't notice the cards were dealt for solitaire.

Sunday, April twentieth, 2008.

Each morning I count my ribs; twenty-four, they're all there.
But still, my chest feels empty somehow; I think something's missing.
-------------------------------
I know I promised that I wouldn't wait for you;
But when you left, I began counting the seconds.

You know, I'm still counting...
-------------------------------
Each morning I count my ribs; twenty-four, they're all there.
But still, I sense my torso's hollow; surely something's missing.

Wednesday, April ninth, 2008.

It was torture seeing your eyes that shade;
Not melancholy, not dejection - no; just misery.

I whispered everything I’d never said to you;
Existences of despairs only you deserved to know.

I watched your eyes lose their butterscotch electricity;
And I begged my heart to deliver just a single final heartbeat.
-------------------------------
It’s not that I don’t want to live without you;
It’s just that I can’t.

Sunday, April sixth, 2008.

Today I laid in the sun.
The heat was hot;
You’re all I thought about.

The silence was sobering;
I realized how much I miss your provocation.
-------------------------
Get me high just one more time.
The electrifying combination of ecstacy and dementia;
It’s lunacy at it’s best.

I’d give anything for your inebriation;
I promise I’ll quit after I’ve had you just once more.
-------------------------
I just want a delirium to call my own.

Monday, March seventeenth, 2008.

I’m inhaling Xs, I’m exhaling Js;
It certainly hurts to breathe.

Asphyxiation never felt so right.
-----------------------------------
I know I mean nothing to you, now;
And, I know I never will, again.

But you don’t know how satisfying it would be, today;
To know how you felt, then.

Friday, March seventh, 2008.

Things were disappearing in my neighborhood;
Once again, somebody was up to no good -
I saw that you were wanted;
But not like I wanted you.

That's when I knew I had to be with you;
And that's when I knew if I didn't, I'd be through -
To end my grief I'd have to catch a thief;
Your love is my relief, my love is your release.

I'll take a life of crime - all to make you mine.

Thursday, March sixth, 2008.

I don't miss your famous smile;
Or the way you tied your shoes -

I don't miss your messed up hair;
Or how you'd break bad news.

I don't miss your nervous voice;
Or the way you would slam doors -

I don't miss your lame excuses;
Or the way my heart was yours.

Saturday, February second, 2008.

I burned everything.

Your words;
Your ink;
Your memory;

We burned together; and it felt so right.
-----------------------
I've never had such a fever.

Tuesday, January twenty-ninth, 2008.

Dear A. Nonymous,       

You're leaving me tomorrow;
You've been away for years, I know.
But you've always been here with me.

Say goodbye to everyone else, first;
Make sure there's not a thing left to say.
And do just one thing for me, even in game, or as an afterthought;
(Something that would have meant everything to me when you were with me;)

Secure my gaze, feel my heartbeat, and call me by your name.
------------------------
I thought it would be miserable to live knowing you haven't forgiven me;
But I hadn't yet thought of dying under the same circumstances.

You wouldn't let me die like that, would you?